26 Sep 2025
Booked a sunset cruise with Wild Horizons. Thought I was getting the Zambezi. Instead, I got the car park at my hotel.
They didn’t show up. Called five minutes after the pickup time – “oh yeah, we’ll send a driver.” Forty-five minutes later, still standing there like a lemon. Called again. Their solution? “Come on a breakfast cruise tomorrow.” Brilliant. Nothing says “romantic African sunset” like cold eggs and instant coffee at 8 a.m.
Told them I wouldn’t. Asked for a refund. Had to remind them reception was closing in ten minutes, otherwise I’d have been stood there arguing with a locked door. Emailed afterwards, said I might forgive the shambles if they refunded and rebooked for another date. They ghosted me for two days. I’ve had better communication from dead relatives.
So, if you fancy paying for a cruise and instead experiencing the unique thrill of waiting around in shorts while the mosquitoes eat you alive, this is the outfit for you.