29 Mar 2023
If you have never been on a hike, then this trip might be okay for you. But if you have, then you will probably feel like just as much of a schmuck as I did for paying this ridiculous sum of money for what is essentially a hike in a forest. "Jungle River Tour"! Sounds great, doesn't it? And it costs a lot of money - so, if you're an idiot like me, then you'll think that's proof that you're about to go on an Alan Quartermain style adventure into a dark and forbidding wilderness.
No. Not at all. After sitting in a van for two hours, you pull into the parking lot of what is basically a wilderness park. You get out and you follow your "guide" down a trail. I put "guide" in parenthesis because you don't really need a guide here. This is a well-traveled path that you'll see dozens of people walking on - none of who paid anything to be there other than the admission for the park. There are some people Zip-Lining and some people doing some Spelunking. They're having a good time. Us? We're just walking on a path. The caves we walk into aren't caves. They are indentions.
On the way back, we were stuck in traffic and it took about three hours to get home. Five hours in a van. About one hour walking on a trail in a forest. And I spent over $200 on it. I told the guy who ran the operation that this not come anywhere near being a "Jungle River Tour", and said that I believed it wasn't unreasonable to ask for half my money back. Because it wasn't just about the mediocrity of the trip. I feel that I lost an entire day of my trip to Colombia. The whole day was taken by this. But the guy told me that he wasn't going to be giving me anything back.
I did enjoy one bit of swimming that I was able to do. But - showing how far this is from deserving the title "Jungle River Tour" - there was a lifeguard at this river. And he made sure that nobody did anything out of the ordinary.
Other than that, the only good thing thing that came from this was that I now have something to which I can refer whenever I'm jokingly warning myself or others about being careful how they spend their money during travel. "Just make sure it's not a jungle river tour!" "No jungle river tours!"