10 Jan 2024
Without doubt the worst thing we have ever sat through. Three performers - you'd never call them actors - staggering through a meandering list of historical trivia, "umms" and "aahs" everywhere because they can't remember the lines, sprinkled with overworked non-jokes along the lines of "the Commandant's wife never liked an early morning cock". All three laugh at their own jokes and think they're hilarious. They're not. Done in a bland hotel function hall with no sound, no lighting, no set, cheap badly-fitted costumes and zero atmosphere. Also features a narrator who for some reason ISN'T in costume like the others, and wanders around in a caftan with a book prompting them as they all forget what they're doing. It looks exactly like what it is - a very tired tourist gimmick for a captive audience screwed out of $100 in advance, who then have to buy overpriced cheap wine from the venue. And when you think it can't possibly get any worse, the food - the soup could have been anything, meat tough as an old boot, canned gravy and tinned veggies. We escaped before dessert. This embarrassment desperately needs a writer, a real script, genuine humour, a director with imagination, some (any) attempt at production values and actors who actually know how to deliver lines rather than C-grade amateurs. I've seen pre-school shows with more cred than this garbage. Excruciatingly bad - AVOID.